Satire: Sachin Tendulkar retires from International Cricket




In a shocking turn of events which has left millions of Indians in a mixed state of emotions, Sachin Tendulkar has decided to retire from cricket.  Everyone, including the media and the pan-wala right at the edge of the road seems to be talking about this sad turn of events.

In a news conference called right next to his lavish home in Mumbai, Sachin said:

“I am pretty happy to announce that I have retired from the game of cricket but I will continue to play the Googly and bouncers as a member of Rajya Sabha. I have become bored of playing on the same pitches again and again, so I thought it’s only wise to move on to a new pitch in New Delhi where  I can compete with new rivals.”

Sources have confirmed that the real fans are happy to see Sachin move onto a new phase, but a section of the media and the population in general has been deeply affected by his decision. Here is some talk that has been going around the media and cricket circles, revealed exclusively for the readers:

TV Channels:  There can never be another Sachin, as his retirement speculation and criticism for lack of runs scored was what had sky-rocketed our TRP ratings. How will we earn money and fame now?

Cricket Fans ( Anti-Sachin) :  There can never be another Sachin as his age and no shows were what helped us spice up our lunch and tea-time gossip. How will we pass our time or claim to be an expert who knows everything now?

Critics ( Anti-Sachin Reporters ): There can never be another Sachin, as we will have no one to criticize or pass our judgments about which helped us increase our Facebook or Twitter followers. How will we get our salaries now?

Mahendra Singh Dhoni: There can never be another Sachin, as his retirement rumors had kept the focus of the blood sucking journalists away from my captaincy in One Days and Test Matches. How will I dodge them now?

Virendra Sehwag: There can never be another Sachin, as the comparisons made between him and me, despite me not scoring runs so many times, have been the shining points of my career. How will I  keep up with my fame now?

Real Sachin Fans: There can never be another Sachin as not only was he the greatest batsman to ever play, but he also was the sole reason we started watching cricket in the first place. How will we ever fall in love with cricket now?

All in all ,no matter who we are, to its ardent followers in the country, cricket will never be the same when Sachin retires.

DISCLAIMER – This is a satire and not real news.


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